A Nest for All Seasons A Nest for All Seasons: MIght I Mean So Much to Them?

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07 July 2012

MIght I Mean So Much to Them?

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So I'm sitting hear watching "Who Do You Think You Are?" (FAVORITE SHOW...check er out!), and Marisa Tomei is all like..."I want to find out everything about my Mom's side....she's...you know...my heart of hearts...she's my...Mom".   ...and it is so weird to hear that word because when I hear it, I still think of my mom...and of generations in the past (hence watching this show like a rabid dog)...but then it always kinda hits me that I am a Mom too...

I mean I should know this by now, right?  5 years and 3 kids later, I am very much a mom, but still that word doesn't connotate ME right away in my mind.  In brings up MY mom in my head....

So where is my issue?   It's the way she said Mom.  The way it implied that Moms are important...the heart of hearts...from whence you came.  ...and I get it thinking backwards, but it is hard to get it thinking forwards.  I mean, yes we are our mothers and they are all important in our growing up and the way we see life for the rest of our lives...but could that possibly be me?  Could it truly be possible that I will impact these boys in a way that they will say..."she's my...Mom" and then shrug their shoulders like it just makes sense that they feel like I am their heart of hearts.

That, my friends, is mind blowing.  I am just normal...craving alone time and baths...carrying babies and buckets of chicken poop around the yard...and somehow all that will sink into something vital in them?  That is so amazing and heartbreaking all at the same time.  Why do normal people like me have that heavy of a responsibility?  What happens when I am not enough?  Do they still have that weird reverence for Mom when they are 30 years old?

Mothers...please share your thoughts 'cause mine are overwhelming...


Nessa Bixler Saturday, July 07, 2012  

Oh my goodness, the idea of being thought of in that "mom on a pedestal" type of way is mind-blowing. I never thought about me like that either. How amazing.

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