MIght I Mean So Much to Them?
I mean I should know this by now, right? 5 years and 3 kids later, I am very much a mom, but still that word doesn't connotate ME right away in my mind. In brings up MY mom in my head....
So where is my issue? It's the way she said Mom. The way it implied that Moms are important...the heart of hearts...from whence you came. ...and I get it thinking backwards, but it is hard to get it thinking forwards. I mean, yes we are our mothers and they are all important in our growing up and the way we see life for the rest of our lives...but could that possibly be me? Could it truly be possible that I will impact these boys in a way that they will say..."she's my...Mom" and then shrug their shoulders like it just makes sense that they feel like I am their heart of hearts.
That, my friends, is mind blowing. I am just normal...craving alone time and baths...carrying babies and buckets of chicken poop around the yard...and somehow all that will sink into something vital in them? That is so amazing and heartbreaking all at the same time. Why do normal people like me have that heavy of a responsibility? What happens when I am not enough? Do they still have that weird reverence for Mom when they are 30 years old?