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21 June 2011

I don't know if I could raise a girl...

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I have boys.  3 of them.   These boys are all boy...well bebeRed does like contemporary dance (I've let him watch too many episodes of SYTYCD with me...see HERE and HERE) and bebeRex has a definitive love of pink and purple, but otherwise they are ALL BOY.  Like hitting each other over the head with fake swords, using couches as launching pads instead of seats, rolling in mud like happy oinkers, eating plates and plates of food and then running and running and running so they still have chicken legs and knocking knees (and the cutest little bums you've ever seen, but perhaps I'm a little biased as their mother).  TMI?

 My point is this though...every once in awhile I start wanting a girl.  A little tiny, prissy thing that wants to do her hair 6 different ways, 7 times a day, and drink from a teacup with her pinky up in the air.  A little girl that enjoys looking at rack after rack of clothing and would rather take a stroll through the park than dig for worms off the beaten path.  (Yes, I know I am glorifying little girls...)

 The problem is this...I have had three babies and I do not know if my body could handle another.  I felt like I was breaking on #3.  Literally breaking inside...I don't know what my insides looked like when they opened me up, but I can guarantee that things were stretched and strained and all out of place.  (TMI again?)  ...and I told my husband no more babies...I can't do this again.  ...and I meant it.  ...but just once in awhile I still long for a little girl.

...but then I wonder if maybe I wouldn't be as good at raising a girl as I think I would be.  Maybe I would be jealous and catty with another girl in the house.  Maybe I would get frustrated by her prissiness and just want to get out of the house without 4 bouts of crying.

I dunno...all I know is that my boys are all boy...dirt and bugs and sweat and strength.  Worms and trucks and adventure.  They are all manliness to my girliness and we have this kind of perfect world of balance.  Perhaps more girliness would upset this balance...perhaps it would make it perfect?

What is your family balance?  Do you long for more?  Do you think you are crazy? 

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